Outreach

Wow so it has been a while. :) I came back from outreach on Monday Jan 16, 2012. It was five weeks of intense ministry, and I’m thankful for every minute of it.  There were several challenges but God was faithful and watched over His word making sure it was fulfilled. For those of you who were praying, especially for my health, thank you so much! Although my health was a challenge God still moved and was glorified.

I felt the call to hold my team up in prayer.  I made a commitment to pray every time I was sick and couldn’t do anything, as well as praying with a group of two every other day or so. Needless to say I did a lot of praying. I have grown so much in prayer and I’m learning how God speaks to me and how He opens my eyes to see what is going on in the spiritual realm. I believe that because of our prayers my team and I were able to make it through five intense weeks of ministry. 

The biggest thing I learned on outreach was how to allow a huge biblical truth to become a part of who I am not just a truth in my heart.  This truth I am speaking of is the hard revelation of dying to self and continually laying down my rights. I learned how to lay down my rights not for others but for myself. I didn’t want self or my rights getting in the way of my relationship with God. I quickly learned that if I don’t lay down my rights on a continual base then frustration and bitterness will get in the way of my relationship with God.  If my heart isn’t right before God then I’m no better off than the person doing harm to me.  If I don’t lay my rights down and die to self, my heart quickly enters a state in which it is not right before God.  I have learned to keep my focus on Jesus regardless of the circumstances around me, not to say I’m a master of this. These are truths that I have known for years but they were not a part of who I was. In order for these truths, witch are worth more than gold, to become ingrained in to who I am I first had to be crucified. I had to truly die, not physically of cores. I had to go through a hard time that gave me opportunity after opportunity to lay down my rights and force me to focus on God and Him alone. I’m so glad and thankful that God was with me through this outreach and allowed me to go through a hard time, because I am a different person now.

My team went to a total of five churches. Each place had its own problems and spiritual ware fare. The one thing they all had in common were Muslims’. This made it really difficult sometimes to do ministry. I have realized the importance of learning about other religions. This would have helped me understand where the people, whom I’m loving are coming from.  If I would have done more research about their religion I feel like I would have been more equipped to answer their questions in love. I know that it is not by might nor by power but by the Spirit of the Lord that hearts are moved and changed, however I feel like I could have been more effective in my part with God if I had a little more knowledge. My prayer is that God rises up an army of people who are equipped to reach these people.  In some places there was a strong sense of religiousness. In others there was a sense of misuse of authority and power. There were times when I felt like I walked in to a place where people were racing to climb to the top of a latter. Still in other places I felt like there was a strong spirit of death hovering and controlling the people in the land. These are only a few things that I felt and observed while praying and doing ministry. 

I was given three opportunities to preach and loved each moment of it.  The last time I preached, I became sick about 15 min. before I was to speak. My chest started tightening up and my voice was nearly gone.  I was preaching about the depth of salvation. In the middle of talking about healing both my chest and voice came back to normal. God is creative and uses anything to get his loving point across. Praise the Lord! Every time I was given this privilege God was faithful to move on the hearts of people. To God be the glory! We did a lot of door to door ministry, seminars, and landscaping. We also helped in the Hospital a few times and tried to work in the community as much as possible.

My most memorable moment of this experience was when I went door to door. As we were walking down the street I saw this group of kids and went over to talk to them. I asked them their names and what their favorite color was. They then asked what my favorite color was as they giggled in a nervous manor. There was a small baby that started crying. One of the kids picked him up then looked at me, looked back at the baby and placed him in my arms.  I calmed the child down, and the next thing I knew he is looking at me with his gorgeous eyes. He got the biggest smile on his face and started laughing. This was the first baby not to cry when I came close to him. This was definitely the highlight of the trip.

Thank you again for all your prayers and support! It wouldn’t be possible for me to be here, serving the Lord in this way if it weren’t for you! Thank you for partnering with me and expanding God’s Kingdom.

Learn to Number Your Days

Three days ago, on a Friday afternoon for an unknown reason I started having an asthma attack.  I took my inhaler and thought I would be better but I wasn’t.  I went up in to my room with promotion from one of my leaders, it was work duty time at this point, thinking if I lay down I will be able to catch my breath. I soon realized this wasn’t working, instead I was getting worse. So I prayed that God would send someone to help me.  Just then one of my roommates came in the room. To make a long story short, Kylie came in the room and together with a few staff members we went to the hospital. When I was there I was given medicine for Bronchitis and a shot in the butt. Lol let me tell you, it was the longest and biggest needle I have ever seen.

I don’t want to scare anyone, but I wanted to let you all know and thank you for your prayers. When I was in the car on the way to the hospital I felt like I was really close to death, so I started to pray for the people close to my heart.  I felt the presence of God in a way I never have before, it was so pure and sweet. There was no struggle to be in His presence and I started talking with God. “God you have saved my life once like this before, please spare it again.” “Are you sure you want me to spare your life, it would mean more suffering for you? Would you like to stay or be here with me?” This was a hard question because I didn’t want to leave His presence, but something within me still wanted to love and I felt like I wasn’t done loving. I then asked “God if I chose to stay would I be loving you less?” I felt as though He was smiling and then He replied “No, because I will be with you and you will be loving my people.” I then said “Ok, then I chose to stay but before you give me my strength back can I dance with you?”  The next thing I knew I was dancing with my Creator, with my Father, my God. What a privilege and an amazing blessing it was! Words don’t begin to describe that moment with my Lord. I can’t wait until the day where I see Him face to face so that I can once again dance with God. The next thing I remember was Kylie telling me “We are here, are you ready Karissa?” She was speaking of the Hospital, and at that moment I was ready because I knew that God was with me. I feel so blessed to have this moment with God. To love with Him is the reason why I am here.

The Cost of Truly Living

Tonight in class we were talking about the cost of true discipleship.  Wow God has rocked my world once more. J We were talking about laying down your rights. It is the very thing God has been teaching me lately.  If I don’t lay down my rights and pick up my cross then how will I see God, and how will I show Him to this world who needs Him? I want to know my God and the first step in doing that is to follow Him (to die to myself). God has spoken to me about a few things that must die and I would like to share them with you, first, my family. It is really hard for me to come to grip with the fact that I won’t see my awesome brother David graduate High School nor will I be able to celebrate and tell him how proud of him I am.  It is hard for me to know that I may never be home again there to encourage, pray for, challenge, and play with my other amazing brother Daniel. It hard knowing that I won’t see my dear sister, whom I miss so much, for a long time maybe even a life time if God calls me to. Kristen if you are reading this, I looked at the moon tonight and remembered our conversations when I was in TX and how we use to talk on the phone and look at the moon together. I miss you sis! It is hard for me to give up the privilege of seeing my mom and dad so happy and living a life of love together.  I look at my cousins and see how they have the great blessing of raising their kids together and having their children know their grandparents, and then I remember that God is calling me to lay that down at His feet, to die to my rights. I’m not saying that God won’t ever give these things back to me but I need to lay them down regardless.  I can’t love my family more than God, I love my family so much but God still must come first.

Second, friends, not just people that are nice to you or make you smile and feel good but real deep friends. May I use the word best friend?  Those who know you so well they can finish your sentences, those who you tell everything to, who get you.   I have lived about 20 years without a best friend my cousins were my friends, and for that I am blessed.  However It is different to have a good close friend, one who is like a sister to you. God has blessed me with this gift, a rare and beautiful blessing. I have a kindred spirit for a friend and she is her with me in Africa. I know that I can’t hold on to her but I must let her go in to God’s hands. I need to be willing to live a lonely but fulfilled life with Jesus where ever He might take me.   

The right of being understood and the right of Nationality, these are things I must lay down. It is hard living in another country, everything that has to do with anything is different and you’re often misunderstood.  It is hard to explain unless you have lived in a different country for some time. I have always felt like I would move and do missions in another country, but I wasn’t ready to live a life time in one until tonight. God asked me “If I ask you to stay here and never return, are you ready?” I realized at that moment that as much as I love it here and am excited to stay for another six months, I was still holding on with the hope of going back home.  I can’t let being understood and living in my own country keep me from seeing God and doing His will.

A title or name for myself, a reputation, these are things that must die as I pick up my cross.  I have wanted for so long to go to school because I felt like I should, that is the next thing everyone does. I didn’t want to look foolish to others. I wanted to feel like I was smart and could do something. But all these things are a smoke screen covering the heart behind it all. All of these reasons boil down to one thing, feeling inadequate and not trusting God that He has created me wonderful the way He wants. Don’t hear me saying education is wrong or bad. I’m saying that for me, I wanted an education out of insecurity and lack of trust in God rather than allowing God to lead me. I must put my reputation at the feet of Jesus and be willing to look foolish to the world or even those close to me, in order to follow God’s leading. He must be number one not me.

Lastly, my life. Am I ready to die for my faith? The life I’m called to is not exactly the safest one.  When put in the face of death will I chose my God or my life? Will I say “though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” I hope that if or when the time comes God will give me the grace to stand with Him and die. If He be God and died for me, how much more should I be ready? Again I’m not saying I will die but I’m saying my life must be put in God’s hands.  I can’t worry about my family or those I’m leaving behind. I must trust in God that He will continue to hold them and carry them through.  

Tonight I put all of these things on paper and burnt them at the foot of the cross. As I watched that paper burn I felt strange. I was crying because it hurt to die to myself, more painful than words can express.  But I was also crying because a freedom and joy started to take over. It is true, for the joy set before me I will endure my cross just as Jesus did. Thank you God for giving me this opportunity to die to myself, now give me the grace and courage to die every day from this day forward.

The Next Stepping Stone

So I have been praying a lot and am still in a state of prayer as I am about to walk in to the next season of my live in merely 7 weeks. I feel God leading me to take a step of faith and stay here until July or mid Aug.

While I am here I hope to help in a class room in Massai Land as well as helping in a children’s home called the Tumaini home (hope home). This ministry is ran with a couple who recently had their first beautiful baby girl, they are known as the house parents (the kids call them aunt and uncle.)  Then there are also 4 others who are looked as big brothers and sisters.  While I am here I would be like another mom or big sister to these kids. These kids are amazing! At around four every day the family comes together to do house hold chores. There is one kid named Jackson who asks at least four times to clean the bathroom, it is his favorite job. I have so much to learn about love and servant hood from these kids.  It brings so much joy to my heart as I walk around the base and hear “Karissa, Karissa” as I turn around to see these amazing kids with big smiles on their faces.

I love this ministry because this is not an orphanage but a family. The leaders never want it to become like an orphanage but to always remain a family, which is why the need for staff is so great. Right now we have five kids living in the house but there are so many more that need to be loved. Our hearts desire is to add to our family but as I said this requires more staff.

I feel so blessed that God would lead me to this ministry. My entire life I have wondered, how am I going to be a mother in a different Country? I have always felt God calling me to be a mother to the motherless and have often wondered how everything will work out. I feel like God is finally putting the pieces together and setting the stage for what I could see being my life time ministry.

How can you be praying? I’m glad you asked (hehehe). Please be praying first that God would be continuing to lead me in everything that I do and that I would abide in Him at all times.  Secondly, this is all going to take money, please pray for provision (see chart below). Finally, please be praying that God protects me. I need God to protect my health, emotions, spirit, and body as I continue to fight this good fight.

Monthly budget of $300.00/month
Rent (to live in this home)	$150.00
Food, Emergency fund, Blessing money	$50.00
Travel	$48.00
Offering	$24.00
Drinking water	$18.00
Internet	$10.00
Total	$300.00
Cost of changing plain ticket	$200.00
Subtotal for six months	300x6+200=$2,000.00

Thank you so much for all your prayers and support!!!  God has been teaching me so much and none of this would be possible if I didn’t have the love and support from you. May God bless you as He has me, in order that we might be a blessing.

Trully Living

It has been a while since I last updated my blog, let me share with you what I’ve been up to.  My small group did Sunday Ministry twice. I promised to have videos of the song and skits that my team did for the first Sunday, but I’m sorry I not able to upload the videos that were taken. However the second Sunday we did one of the same skits and took another video, this one you can see on my Facebook page.

We had a Culture night with everyone on the base. This was so much fun! Every Culture broke up in to different groups and was responsible to somehow represent their culture.  We had a feast together before the fun festivities started.  Then some chose to do dances and some chose to do a skit and some chose to do both.  What did the American’s do? Something awesome! J This video is also on my face book page. Please check it out, I think you’ll love it J I know I sure did.

There is a book we have been reading as a DTS called Making Jesus Lord by Loren Cunningham, it is rocking my world. It speaks of laying down your rights and picking up your cross.  All of this, what I’m doing in Africa doesn’t matter if I don’t first know my God.  How do I know if I know Him? The answer can be found with these two questions: Do I love? Do I have a passion for His people? I’m not talking about those who love you back, those close to you, but those who you don’t know, complete strangers even your enemies. It is one thing to have feelings of compaction as you pray or see pictures, but it is a different thing to act. It is a different thing to keep a relationship going. Are you to busy? I know I am…I’m ashamed to admit it but I am. Even when I sit and listen to people here my mind is moving and thinking of all the things that need to get done and how now I don’t have time.  I thought I knew how to love when I was at home, in fact I have prayed before saying “God I know how to love in America, there are schedules and I know how to love with a schedule, I know how to focus on people with a schedule but not here.  Why? How do I love?” You know the truth is God had to take me to Africa to show me that I don’t know how to love at all.  I don’t know Him like I thought I did. I don’t know Him because I don’t have Love in my heart. If I knew Him I would love, for He is love. I don’t want to see Jesus one day and hear Him say “I don’t know you.” I don’t want to say “But God I moved to Africa, told people of you, I even died for you” to only hear those dreadful words “I’m sorry but I don’t know you.”

The only way for me to know Him is to die to myself because it is myself that is keeping me from seeing Him. Until I give up all my rights, until I give up everything to follow Him I will never know Him.  I will never see Him for who He is because all I will be able to see is me.  I may see parts of Him and show that to people but that isn’t good enough, only a part? NO. I want to know Him not see a part. I must die completely at all times. I must give up all my rights and never look back. All this is much easier said than done.  OH God please help me! I cannot die to myself, deny my rights, at all times without you. Please oh please show me you! Dying to myself and denying my rights is not a onetime thing but a continual thing, Lord please give me grace to live this kind of continual lifestyle.

 Back to the book, in Chapter five it gives an amazing poem written by Bill McChesney.  He was an American missionary that was killed for his faith at the age of 28 in the Congo uprising in 1964.  This is what He wrote before He died, It changed me and I hope it does you too.

My Choice

I want my breakfast served at “Eight,”

With ham and eggs upon my plate;

A well-broiled steak I’ll eat at “One,”

And dine again when day is done.

I want an ultra modern home,

And in each room a telephone;

Soft carpets, too, upon the floors,

And pretty drapes to grace the doors.

A cozy place of lovely things,

Like easy chairs with inner springs,

And then I’ll get a small TV-

Of course, “I’m careful what I see.”

I want my wardrobe, too, to be

Of neatest, finest quality,

With latest style in suit and vest.

Why shouldn’t Christians have the best?

But then the Master I can hear,

In no uncertain voice, so clear,

“I bid you come and follow me,

The Lowly Man of Galilee.”

“Birds of the air have made their nest,

And foxes in their holes find rest;

But I can offer you no bed;

No place have I to lay my head.”

In shame I hung my head and cried,

How could I spurn the Crucified?

Could I forget the way He went,

The sleepless nights in prayer He spent?

For forty days without a bite,

Alone He fasted day and night;

Despied, rejected—on He went,

And did not stop till veil He rent,

A Man of sorrows and of grief,

No earthly friend to bring relief—

“Smitten of God,” the prophet said—

Mocked, beaten, bruised, His blood ran red.

If He be God and died for me,

No sacrifice too great can be

For me, a mortal man, to make;

I’ll do it all for Jesus’ sake.

Yes, I will tread the path He trod,

No other way will please my God;

So, henceforth, this my choice shall be,

My choice for all eternity

Holy Spirit Time :)

What to say…ummm… well let’s start with last week in Massai land. I forgot to mention that I was given the opportunity to preach for the DTS. I spoke about love and unity.  You can’t have one without the other.  I was told that it was powerful and I felt like God really spoke to hearts including my own. 

By the way please be praying for rain in Massai land.  They need it really bad. The base has a shortage of water right now.

They have built a primary and secondary school so that in the starting of the New Year kids will be able to attend school without walking all day to get there, if I understand right.  This is where I will hopefully be teaching in Feb.  That is another thing to keep in your prayers.  I need favor so that when I speak to the main leaders, I will be granted to ability to teach.  I want to pray about it for a little longer before I approach them so please be keeping me in your prayers in that regard J

This week in the DTS the teacher was speaking on the Holy Spirit. So good! I feel like I have a better understanding of who the Holy Spirit is not just the gifts of the Holy Spirit.  He is my best friend right now, sometimes I feel like my only friend. He keeps reminding me of the vision I had almost 5 years ago. I was walking down this path with Him and we came across a field and He said “here you go” with His arms reaching across this beautiful stretch of land. So I ran out and was having a ball, I look up to see Him smiling but still standing on the path.  I cried out “come on!”  But He said “no, I have to go this way, but you can stay here.”  To that I ran back to the road and said “I’m not going anywhere if you’re not there.” So we started walking and suddenly there was lightning and everything became dark. I became terrified and sorrowful and hid my face in His cloak as we kept on walking. Finally we reached a big mountain and He said “turn around.”  As I turned I saw a sea of all kinds of people.  He said with a smile “they were following you, and you have now lead them here to the mountain of God.”

I say this to encourage those reading that the hardships are worth it, keep going. I also right this to remind myself of that same message. It is hard and I feel like quitting sometimes but it is worth it and everything will be ok. I’m walking with the Holy Spirit and my head is under His cloak.

Back from Masai Land :)

Thank you everyone who prayed for me!!!!!  When I was in Massai Land I made a friend :) she was trying to teach me how to say "my friend" in Massai, Rafiki Yango in Swahili, but I couldn't figure it out. it was to much in the back of my throughout.  She spoke a little Swahili so we were able to have small conversations.  At the end she gave me one of her bracelets as a sign of our friendship :) It was really encouraging to make a friend even though I wasn't able to speak her language.  God's love is universal.
Later in the week Kylie, me, and all the other westerners were able to share our culture with the DTS by teaching some worship songs.  It was nice to be able to all worship together with songs I'm use to.  It was a huge blessing to see them learn the songs and worship God with me :)
I was also able to see the girl I sponsor (Frida) and I meat her mom for the first time.  I asked her mom to encourage Frida to go to school instead of staying with the cattle.  She informed me that her desire is to see her go to school and make a life for herself. This was also very encouraging!!!  Another person I was able to see was Coco :) Coco means grandmother in Masai.  Last time I came here I meat a lady who became my sister's Coco and she told me that she was my Coco as well. It was great seeing her and dancing with her :) Kristen if you are reading this she also says Hi to you and she loves you!
Unfortunately I had a hard time breathing and felt weak a lot of the time.  I didn't let that take away from what God was going to do though.  God is good and He took control.  Please continue to pray about my health that God will protect me.  Also be praying for peace and joy.  I have been missing home, family, my church family, worshiping with my church family and such.  I know God is good and He will come through, but please keep these things in your prayers! :)  
Thank you again!!!! I love you all so much!