Trully Living

It has been a while since I last updated my blog, let me share with you what I’ve been up to.  My small group did Sunday Ministry twice. I promised to have videos of the song and skits that my team did for the first Sunday, but I’m sorry I not able to upload the videos that were taken. However the second Sunday we did one of the same skits and took another video, this one you can see on my Facebook page.

We had a Culture night with everyone on the base. This was so much fun! Every Culture broke up in to different groups and was responsible to somehow represent their culture.  We had a feast together before the fun festivities started.  Then some chose to do dances and some chose to do a skit and some chose to do both.  What did the American’s do? Something awesome! J This video is also on my face book page. Please check it out, I think you’ll love it J I know I sure did.

There is a book we have been reading as a DTS called Making Jesus Lord by Loren Cunningham, it is rocking my world. It speaks of laying down your rights and picking up your cross.  All of this, what I’m doing in Africa doesn’t matter if I don’t first know my God.  How do I know if I know Him? The answer can be found with these two questions: Do I love? Do I have a passion for His people? I’m not talking about those who love you back, those close to you, but those who you don’t know, complete strangers even your enemies. It is one thing to have feelings of compaction as you pray or see pictures, but it is a different thing to act. It is a different thing to keep a relationship going. Are you to busy? I know I am…I’m ashamed to admit it but I am. Even when I sit and listen to people here my mind is moving and thinking of all the things that need to get done and how now I don’t have time.  I thought I knew how to love when I was at home, in fact I have prayed before saying “God I know how to love in America, there are schedules and I know how to love with a schedule, I know how to focus on people with a schedule but not here.  Why? How do I love?” You know the truth is God had to take me to Africa to show me that I don’t know how to love at all.  I don’t know Him like I thought I did. I don’t know Him because I don’t have Love in my heart. If I knew Him I would love, for He is love. I don’t want to see Jesus one day and hear Him say “I don’t know you.” I don’t want to say “But God I moved to Africa, told people of you, I even died for you” to only hear those dreadful words “I’m sorry but I don’t know you.”

The only way for me to know Him is to die to myself because it is myself that is keeping me from seeing Him. Until I give up all my rights, until I give up everything to follow Him I will never know Him.  I will never see Him for who He is because all I will be able to see is me.  I may see parts of Him and show that to people but that isn’t good enough, only a part? NO. I want to know Him not see a part. I must die completely at all times. I must give up all my rights and never look back. All this is much easier said than done.  OH God please help me! I cannot die to myself, deny my rights, at all times without you. Please oh please show me you! Dying to myself and denying my rights is not a onetime thing but a continual thing, Lord please give me grace to live this kind of continual lifestyle.

 Back to the book, in Chapter five it gives an amazing poem written by Bill McChesney.  He was an American missionary that was killed for his faith at the age of 28 in the Congo uprising in 1964.  This is what He wrote before He died, It changed me and I hope it does you too.

My Choice

I want my breakfast served at “Eight,”

With ham and eggs upon my plate;

A well-broiled steak I’ll eat at “One,”

And dine again when day is done.

I want an ultra modern home,

And in each room a telephone;

Soft carpets, too, upon the floors,

And pretty drapes to grace the doors.

A cozy place of lovely things,

Like easy chairs with inner springs,

And then I’ll get a small TV-

Of course, “I’m careful what I see.”

I want my wardrobe, too, to be

Of neatest, finest quality,

With latest style in suit and vest.

Why shouldn’t Christians have the best?

But then the Master I can hear,

In no uncertain voice, so clear,

“I bid you come and follow me,

The Lowly Man of Galilee.”

“Birds of the air have made their nest,

And foxes in their holes find rest;

But I can offer you no bed;

No place have I to lay my head.”

In shame I hung my head and cried,

How could I spurn the Crucified?

Could I forget the way He went,

The sleepless nights in prayer He spent?

For forty days without a bite,

Alone He fasted day and night;

Despied, rejected—on He went,

And did not stop till veil He rent,

A Man of sorrows and of grief,

No earthly friend to bring relief—

“Smitten of God,” the prophet said—

Mocked, beaten, bruised, His blood ran red.

If He be God and died for me,

No sacrifice too great can be

For me, a mortal man, to make;

I’ll do it all for Jesus’ sake.

Yes, I will tread the path He trod,

No other way will please my God;

So, henceforth, this my choice shall be,

My choice for all eternity