More Lord, More!

Today is my last day as a nanny.  I have the great privilege of taking care of three beautiful children the ages of 1, 3, and 5.  Before the three yr old had his birthday he made the decision to follow Jesus.  It was an amazing thing!!! I could see a difference in him right away.  He started asking me to read the Bible more and was excited when I talked about Jesus.  Right after I prayed with him I saw this tunnel of light being absorbed in to his face.  For a moment in time it looked like I was looking in to the face of Jesus.  He had such a huge smile of his face, and not a normal smile it was indescribable and amazing. Since then I have been teaching him more of who God is and how to pray and love.  Just yesterday I was teaching him how to share God's love with others and lead his friends to Jesus.  

Seeing as how today is my last day I was praying a lot for the Lord to lead me to teach theses children what He wants, as well as to help me be selfless and love like I have never before. As I was cleaning the kitchen God gave me this story to tell them about a toy maker whose toys come alive.  The end of the story talks about how much the toy maker loved his toys so when he found out that one was missing he left all the other ones just to find the lost toy.  The toy maker ends up saving the toy right before he falls out of a tree.  I was able to explain God's love to the five year old for the fifth time and once again asked if he wanted to invite Jesus to come live with him?  He said yes!!!  I have asked him so many times and finally after a lot of tears and many prayers he said yes!  I had the 3 yr old lead his big brother in a prayer and now they both are loving Jesus and living for Him.

Now my prayer is that God would raise someone else up to continue to train him in the ways of God. God is so faithful and loving!!!!!  I can't wait to see this happen in Africa too! :)

Goin to Afrifca :D

After much prayer I feel as though God is leading me to live in Africa for about 5 months.  I'm going to be doing a DTS (Discipleship Training School) though YWAM (Youth With A Mission).

I have always known that God has put a special anointing on my life to live and love over seas.  I still yet to understand what God has in store and where I will end up but one thing I do know, He has promised that I would be a mother to many nations.  I have no idea how this will come about...but I'm trusting that God knows what He is doing.

This is truly a faith building time for me.  lol and I thought I was done going through faith building times ... lol ya right.  I have a lot of support to raise and not much time to do it in :D I feel like I'm being pressed on every side but it is so good.  I didn't say it was fun or nice but it is so good.  I'm learning so much about trusting God and being OK with not knowing.  I'm learning more about change and surrender.  For example one of the most resent things God has taought me is this: The sacrifices and complete surrender to God is more painful than you can imagine...but the joy and freedom that comes afterword is exceedingly greater than you can fathom. The pain of sacrifice lasts only a while but the joy and freedom lasts a lifetime. Thank you God for walking through the fire with me! It is worth it! It is worth it because He is worthi it! It is worth it because the people He chose for me to impact are worth it!  God is striping me of selfishness and graciously causing my love to grow in its understanding.    I'm learning so much before I even step foot in to Africa.  I can't even fathom the kind of things God is going to do in me and through me. Wow, bring it all God.  Bring it all. :)

I AM

There you are the great I AM

Time doesn’t define you

Life doesn’t define you

You made them all

Yet you see me in my despair

And you reach down

Like a vine, like ivy rapping around a branch

You pull me out

Out of the muck

Out of the sinking sand

Now I see you

Both in great power and liquid love

You lean in meekness and kiss my head

Burning away layers

As a crown of life is displayed

You lift my chin gently

And speak meekly

“See”

My lenses of black and gray

Shriveled away

Replacing them were eyes of gold

I could see

Colors, beauty, joy, and song

It was Him and He was strong

Yet soft and gentle, covered in love

I looked down and saw

With eyes of pure gold

Colors, beauty, joy and song

It was me, I was strong

Yet soft and gentle covered in love

Like Him I am

A child of the King

A child of love

A child of holiness

Pure

A child of beauty

Like Him I am

Life’s Progression

Perfect joy, love and salvation

Wrapped in mercy, sweet peace and grace

Here I’m whole, perfect, safe and free

Singing in perfect harmony

Singing love, dancing peace

Hold me tightly for I’m slipping

Innocents stripped, unrightfully taken

Darkness overshadows and all is crashing in

Screaming, yelling, brokenness and rage

Fear overtakes me

As I’m lost in this dream of dark despair

I can’t see you but I know you’re here

Restoring doves torn apart

Breathing butterflies

A promise of new life where

Perfect joy, love and salvation

Wrapped in mercy, sweet peace and grace

Residing I can see

Clean, refreshed, new, tasting honey

I am now here with you

Created in perfect harmony

Sinning love, dancing peace

Here I’m whole, perfect, safe and free

Don't Give Up

As life is thrown my way
I think how can you love me after what I have done?
I come back to you covered in mud
And faithfully you clean me, pick me up and say

Keep pushing, don't give up
Push through the labor pains, don't give up
I'm right here, don't give up
Keep running, don't give up
I love you, don't give up
I'm holding your hand, don't give up
I'm right beside you, don't give up
I will carry you, don't give up
I will always love you, don't give up

Then I look in your eyes
Full of love indescribable
It flows like a river
Your love that is so sweet

Then I feel your arms wrapped tightly around me
The warm embrace that takes my disgrace
I fell protected and cared about
Loved more deeply than ever

I can see the holes in your wrists
The holes that made it possible
For me to be holy

Tears well up in my eyes
As I think about your love
What you went through just to be near me

I look back at your face
And see the smile that shines with grace
Mercy, love and passion as your eyes glisten with joy

"I love you" you say
"It was worth it, just for this moment"
"Let me take that" you say
As you reach over and throw away
The hat called condemnation
And the coat called lies

"I love you" you say
"You’re mine, yes it was worth it
Because you are now mine"