What Is Most Important

I’m so humbled, His astoundingly rich presence that is mixed with such a deep soft love.  His presence that is completely indescribable is the very thing that satisfies the deepest darkest parts of my being. It heals and mends parts of me that I didn’t even know were wounded. His hands reach to the depths past the safe guards that no man is able to pass. Only In His presence overtaken by His love am I able to let the guard down just long enough for His amazing hand to reach to the deepest part of my being. In His meek love He pulls me to Himself, to the deepest parts of His being.

This is what He does for someone like me. One who has forgotten her first love, one who has prostituted her heart? I have let pride grow so big that it clouded my vision. I thought I was loving God and seeking His kingdom but really I was loving myself and seeking mine.

How is it that life can get so busy so quick. How can it be that the things He calls us to can add up so fast and consume our time? All He wants is our time, not our talent. He just wants us to sit, stop walking around Him and just sit, to be with Him and to continue to seek Him. I need to live a life with an audience of one!  No matter who may be around or impacted by my life, it needs to be just one.

If we truly encountered this holy love then we would not be playing the grace card to do whatever we wanted. We wouldn’t struggle to spend time with Him. How can we have a hard time wanting to be with the best person ever? The most loving, kind, tender, holy, fire, pure, how can you not want to be with such?

God asked me a question not too long ago. He said if I chose to do nothing but be with you and  never again lead you to do anything, or reach out to anyone would that be OK? Before I tell you my response I want to attempt to express the amazing heart that He was being revealed to me.  The amazing truth that deep quality time with me was more important than anything else. I want to put the emphasis on deep quality time. Not just a little time here and there but a deep long quality time.  I was surprised by my response.  I didn’t realize my heart held such an answer. My response to this amazing question was this; you will get bored with me. I will NEVER get bored with you! I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the truth that He loves me so much as to never get bored with me.

The deeper you find yourself in His love, the more you will find yourself walking in the fear of the Lord. You will find yourself walking deeper and deeper in to His heart were the fire is, a true encounter.

I have never been addicted to drugs or alcohol but I have been addicted to approval. The more I find Him and listen to when He calls me away, the more I find myself no longer addicted to approval but to Him. I go only a few hours and I feel like I will break down if I don’t get a way and see Him. If I’m not soaking in His presence my heart becomes anxious and my chest tightens up. I can’t breathe without Him. This is one addiction that I’m glad I have and never want to get rid of. To be utterly lost and in love with the one who infinitely loves me. I’m just now starting to learn what it means to have a living life rather than a dying one.