I was talking to a friend the other day about knowing God,
and she said something that has stuck with me, “To have a real relationship
with God you have to be real with yourself.”
For so long there has been an unrealistic view of God and
the “Christian” walk. We are stuck in the honeymoon stage. This unrealistic
view is a hunky dory, all is well, I don’t have issues, and I’m completely free
from any pain in this world. It is a downright fake view of faith.
If we allow ourselves to live or strive to attain this
unrealistic view, then eventually we will fall, crash and burn. I’m not saying
we, as lovers of Jesus, never have joy or peace in the storm. Because of God
and His grace, we have such things; however, these blessings don’t entitle us
to live a life of denial.
Because of my past, I am now working through character issues
and big wounds that effect relationships on every level. I know God is going to
fully set me free and redeem me from my past because He came to set the
captives free, mend the broken hearted, and establish His kingdom. He is healing
me because the plans He has for me are much bigger than I can handle. He is
calling me to perform in my greatest weakness and insecurity. As I do so, His power is being seen all the
more and restoration takes place.
I have a daunting task in front of me to look at my immense
problems in the face; to see there are things in my past I don’t remember
that affect me today. When admitting that I have abnormal issues with control
and are unable to do things that most can because of it, I fell like a failure.
I’m broken, and sometimes I wonder how
it’s possible for anyone to love me.
Then I experience a Revelation 1:17 moment, when God in His immense
power and glory reaches out his hand to touches. He meets me in my ocean of filth
and brokenness and says “Do not be afraid.” The Gospel isn’t a thing that is
unattainable. The Gospel isn’t something that we strive for with hope that someday
we will be able to grasp and be free. The Gospel is for here and now. It gives
us hope for a time in the future with God Himself, it promises love and peace
as we walk through the issues and hardships of life, and gives us freedom from
the sole ties of our past.
To have a real relationship with the one who is above it
all, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, the I AM, the one who was and is and is to
come, the God of Jacob and Isaac, the one who formed the foundations of the
world by one whisper, the one who causes the mountains to melt like wax by the
breath of his nostrils, God Almighty, we first must be real with ourselves and
allow Him to embrace us where we are at.
