The True Meaning Of Christmas

 Where do I begin? I’m so overwhelmed by God. I’m so overtaken by the essence of Him. Even as I write this, tears well up in my eyes with such gratitude accompanied with a deep rich awe. God’s love is incredible, and He truly answers prayer! I’ve been praying for a fresh revelation of God’s love and fresh revelation of Jesus Christ; now I have experienced a small taste of this prayer. 

There has been a stirring in my Spirit, a restlessness, almost like the pit of my stomach was being mixed. In this I felt the Lord say “This Christmas will be different. This season is unique.”

This is my first Christmas in my own place, my first Christmas with my own tree, and my first Christmas with eyes to see deeper in to the meaning of it all. I have grown up in a Christian home and have read the story of Jesus’ birth every year. I’ve been in several Christmas programs, and have even taught children what this season is all about; yet this year I see a bit differently.

I’ve been thinking about the Old Testament and how the Jewish people waited so long with anticipation for God. I’ve been pondering the faith it must have took for the Prophets to see in part, and hope for a day where the Messiah would come. The heart of God is so great! That He would assure his love and faithfulness to His people time and time again, reminding them that one day a Savior will come.

Think about the immense love and the deep swelling of God’s heart towards us. God, the one who rightfully deserves everything, chose to little himself and come as a baby. Not just any baby born anywhere, but a small child born in an animal’s home and placed in its food pin. This great act of humility on this quiet night only gives a sliver of His great love towards us.

This night probably didn’t look glorious. It isn’t a fairy tale like story we so often imagine it to be. I picture this night to be dark, cold, and quiet. After much pain and intense labor, Jesus is born. Not in a house or a shed, but in animals sleeping quarters.

Who were the first to hear about the birth of the one the Prophets spoke of? Lowly shepherds. These men were not rich but poor. The sheep they tended were not even theirs. They were no bodies and had nothing to give.

Animals, Mary, Joseph, and a few simple shepherds were the ones to welcome the awaited one, God in flesh, on that night.

Why so quiet? Why such humility? Why in this way? A continual passion that drives the heart of God is what propelled Him to take such drastic measures of meeting men on earth. This fiery love, this explosive passion, this intense zeal for you and for me, is what propelled God to come in a way that no one expected. Only to die in a way that no one anticipated. Why? Because He LOVES.

So when I see a Charley Brown Christmas tree that is all catawampus standing in my living room with candy canes and a star of top, I think of that quiet night painted with such humility, giving me hope for my catawampus life to be restored unto Him.

This is the true meaning of Christmas!

Let’s Get Real

I was talking to a friend the other day about knowing God, and she said something that has stuck with me, “To have a real relationship with God you have to be real with yourself.”

For so long there has been an unrealistic view of God and the “Christian” walk. We are stuck in the honeymoon stage. This unrealistic view is a hunky dory, all is well, I don’t have issues, and I’m completely free from any pain in this world. It is a downright fake view of faith.

If we allow ourselves to live or strive to attain this unrealistic view, then eventually we will fall, crash and burn. I’m not saying we, as lovers of Jesus, never have joy or peace in the storm. Because of God and His grace, we have such things; however, these blessings don’t entitle us to live a life of denial. 

Because of my past, I am now working through character issues and big wounds that effect relationships on every level. I know God is going to fully set me free and redeem me from my past because He came to set the captives free, mend the broken hearted, and establish His kingdom. He is healing me because the plans He has for me are much bigger than I can handle. He is calling me to perform in my greatest weakness and insecurity.  As I do so, His power is being seen all the more and restoration takes place.

I have a daunting task in front of me to look at my immense problems in the face; to see there are things in my past I don’t remember that affect me today. When admitting that I have abnormal issues with control and are unable to do things that most can because of it, I fell like a failure.  I’m broken, and sometimes I wonder how it’s possible for anyone to love me.

Then I experience a Revelation 1:17 moment, when God in His immense power and glory reaches out his hand to touches. He meets me in my ocean of filth and brokenness and says “Do not be afraid.” The Gospel isn’t a thing that is unattainable. The Gospel isn’t something that we strive for with hope that someday we will be able to grasp and be free. The Gospel is for here and now. It gives us hope for a time in the future with God Himself, it promises love and peace as we walk through the issues and hardships of life, and gives us freedom from the sole ties of our past.

To have a real relationship with the one who is above it all, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, the I AM, the one who was and is and is to come, the God of Jacob and Isaac, the one who formed the foundations of the world by one whisper, the one who causes the mountains to melt like wax by the breath of his nostrils, God Almighty, we first must be real with ourselves and allow Him to embrace us where we are at.

The Ache That Leads to Love

Just a few nights ago I found my self dreaming about Africa. I was back in Massi Land loving the children. We were dancing singing and laughing together again. Then I woke up. I'm forever ruined. I have this burning desire for the people in Africa, and yet i have the same desire for the people in the Philippines. My heart aches for my three worlds to collide in to a glorious worship session that will never end.
The revelation of God's heart when one steps foot in these lands are unspeakably amazing. We have so much to learn from each other, we have so much love to give each other.
My heart aches to hold the children of Africa. If I could only give them one more hug. If I could only give them one more word of encouragement, wipe one more tear, hear one more laugh.
This pain at first glance appears to be a curse, but in reality it is a huge blessing! This constant ache reminds me of the great truth that this is not my home. It places my focus back on Christ and gives me the hope of the day when we all are able to see Him face to face. Here we will never say goodbye, we will be worshiping the King of Love for eternity.
I'm so blessed to have this ache of loss and loneliness residing in my heart! It is a constant reminder of how great God is and pushes me in to the very heart of God. Where I am emerged in a thick tangible presence of God's love. Here I'm safe, free, and satisfied.
I'm finding myself high on God's love. This deep pain that continues to grow only causes me to be lathered in His glorious love.
I can only hope to be more like Him ever day! My desire now is to fall more in love with the God who loves me! I am His and He is mine. This is my home, in the depths of His love.

It is Time.

Last year the Lord gave me a vision. I was in a church building and on the stage was a statue. It was Jesus frozen in mid motion, like the statues in the movie the Lion Witch and the Wardrobe. Then I saw the congregation of people. The color in their faces were fading and their eyes were glazed over as they just stared off in to space. I could hear God say, this is what happens when people take a piece of me and create an idol out of it. Then behind the statue on stage was Jesus. He was waving His arms back and forth trying to get the peoples attention. Finally He yelled, sounding like a lion, ENOUGH! The statue crumbled, and the things that were covering the peoples eyes fell off. Everyone fell on their face because they realized what they had done and who they were now in front of.

We can't only have a piece of Him! God is loving and kind and gentle yes, but He is also just as much a judge and a consuming fire, the all powerful one. If you think you will skip by this part of Jesus because you are now saved you are sorely mistaking! You can't erase a peace of God.

There is a side of me that is caring and that loves to take care of kids, but I also can get very angry and not so nice. You can't pick and choose pieces of me, I am me and that is that. It is the same way with God.

We know of His love, we always hear how He is loving and kind and how He paid the price and all these things are 100% true, but he is also a judge, a king, the one who spoke something in to being out of His might and power. He is also a consuming fire and He is the one who will shake up and shake off anything that is dead.

PLEASE HEAR ME!!!

God is shaking things up. ARE YOU ASLEEP? If you are asleep this shaking will shake you off. Has reading your bible become a disciplinary duty that you do in order to check it off your list? How do you pray? Do you talk the entire time? Praying without words is sometimes more powerful and needed than praying with them. Have you fallen asleep?

Are you holding on to a piece of God that has now become an idol?

The book of John explains something interesting about the crucifixion. When Jesus was on the cross, the guards were going to rip his undergarments and divide them amongst themselves. They decided instead to cast lots to see who would receive it. You can not only have a piece of God or a piece of the Gospel. You need to have the whole thing.

Before God was able to reveal to me the part of His being that is a consuming holy fire and all powerful judge, He first had to reveal His love. It is out of His love that you see His consuming fire and powerful judge like qualities. I would be unable to understand His loving judgment  expressed in His consuming fire and earth rattling judgment until I first encountered and continue to encounter His love. I feel like we are beating a dead horse on this topic. All we hear about is His love, if you only know His love and haven't encountered it yet... may God have mercy on you and reveal it to you! I am all about love, in fact I have preached more messages on love than anything else, but I'm not here to talk about love to you know. No more warm fuzzes. I hope I rattle some cages because if I don't there is a shaking and rattling that is coming but instead of finding love and mercy you will find judgment.

Isaiah 57:11 Whom of you so dreaded and feared that you have been false to me, and neither have remembered me or pondered this in your hearts?
Pause, think about that for a min. Who has DREADED that you have been false with God? Have you even pondered it in your heart?
Continue, Is it not because I have long been silent that you do not fear me?

Side note: there are 56 chapters leading up to this question, is it not because i have been long silent that you do not fear me? I don't think God was silent. I think He was yelling and trying to get there attention and it is the same here in this hour. God has been saying it over and over and over again, WAKE UP!!! NO MORE COMPLACENCY!!! The excuse I haven't heard you doesn't pardon the lack of fear that needs to reside in our hearts.

Now wait a min, we haven't been given the spirit of fear and we haven't been made slaves again to fear. How can you say we need fear in our hearts?

I'm glad you asked. :) Now listen to the answer. The Devil loves to create counterfeits! he perverts everything. The fear we are not to live by is this griping fear that will keep us back from God and doing the things we are meant to do. We are not given over to be slaves to this binding fear that ties our entire being down and pulls the focus on the object of ourselves. The fear I'm talking about is this kind that frees you. The kind that has your focus continually on Him and your heart in check with His. You're constantly aware of His greatness and power. You're quick to repent and line yourself back up with His love and holiness. When the fear of the lord is ruling your heart there is no room for complacency!

I'm constantly asking God, am I in the group of people you are rebuking? Is there any part of me that is not pleasing to you? Is there any part of me that would causes me to die in your presence?

Five years a go I was in a worship service with about 300 other believers of all denominations. It was so powerful and amazing. God's Spirit was in our midst and you could almost eat Him. I felt this thing rise up in my heart, almost like an anger. I said God, I'm not fooling you! You already see what is in my heart. I don't want to worship you. OH my goodness sakes! Did God ever show up. Instantly I felt His all powerful presence standing right  in front of me. I fell to my knees and begged God to spare my life. I felt as though I was going to die. He took a sward and touched my shoulders then said arise. I said uh hu. He said it again arise, your name is now Rose-Mary you will blossom in the sea of bitterness and heal in my name.

I encountered the Holiness of God and a holy fear in that moment and I have never been the same since. I have recently encountered something similar, it was as if the fear of the Lord was being refreshed in me. When you encounter the fear of the Lord, when you encounter His holiness it forever changes you! Something shifts inside of you.

The fear of the Lord is like water that causes the flower to bloom and flourish. I'm referring to the deep relationship with the Lord. The fear of the Lord causes your love to explode.

God is calling us back to Himself as a pure and white bride. To make sure the oil in our lamps are full. There is no more time to be dancing with sin. There is no time to be dancing with unforgivenes or shame or guilt. STOP trampling on the cross by dancing with sin, guilt, shame, condemnation and the like.

On November 15, 2012 I felt God say this: I want to reestablish hunger in my people. It is time to clean house.  In Hebrews it says without Holiness no one will see the Lord.

It is time to encounter His holiness; it is time to encounter the fear of the Lord. Just as it is different to know God's love and encounter it, so it is with the fear of the Lord.