The children in Masai Land are now on break; since School
has been out I have been helping the Tumaini ministry (the children’s home in
Arusha) as well as going to bomas visiting my children one last time. My goal is
to see everyone before I leave. Pray with me that this is possible, during the
day the boys are out with the cattle and it makes it difficult to see them. There
are also at least 6 of my kids who are so far a way that I’m told I need a car
and it will be a full day trip going visiting and coming back.
Last week I was able to visit a few of my students. It is so
interesting to see how different they are when they are home. When in the class
they are put in a culture where it is ok to express yourself and it is safe to
be a kid with emotion. At home they are put in a culture that it isn’t ok to
express yourself, it’s not safe to show sorrow, it’s not ok to hug especially
for a male. It is sad really, I have seen my students want to jump and give me
a hug and show affection but they stop themselves.
There is one student who has really made a lasting imprint
in my heart. I love all my students and they are very near to my heart each for
a different reason but this child has really shaken me. Mesiaki is his name,
after visiting and saying good bye I went back and cried for so long. Just thinking
that this is probably the last time I will see him brought such pain to my
heart but at the same time I was crying with joy because I could see the growth
from the Mesiaki 6 months ago to the Mesiaki now.
I was sitting in his hut waiting for him to come, and when
he came in his face lit up and we started laughing because we were so happy to
see each other again. He had the biggest smile on his face, and the glimmer of
joy that was jumping in his eyes was so sweet. He started to come and give me a
hug but stopped himself and after saying “Hi how are you?” he ran outside why I’m
still not sure. Eventually he came back but when he did his posture was different.
He was much more serious, his chest
puffed out and head held high. I was wearing the necklace that he gave me as a
goodbye gift and thanked him and his grandma again for it. He was feeling sick
so we prayed for good health and then I told him that I wanted to see him one
last time before going home. I told him that I will miss him but I will be
praying for him, as I was saying these things he raised his chin and I could
see the glimmer of tears welling up in his eyes. He was fighting it so hard. I
knew he wouldn’t give me a hug so I put my hand out and he took it and squeezed
it so tight. I felt like he was giving me a huge hug though his handshake.
Mesiaki has grown so much. I see the fire of God growing and
welling up in him. I see the battle of wanting to be that light that breaks
through the darkness. The Love that is so contrary to his culture but not
knowing how to do so in such a dark culture that is inescapable. It makes me so
thrilled and overjoyed to see the growth in him, the growth in school as well as
his heart and spirit coming alive. It brings so much pleasure to my heart;
words cannot express the joy that my heart is overwhelmed with. As I was
meditating on this thought, God spoke to me and showed me that this is how He
feels towards us. Philippians 2:13 says for it is God who works in you both to
will and to do for His good pleasure. I didn’t realize it but I had this view
of God that said “He is pleased to finish the work He has started in order to finish
a master plan.” There is some truth to this thought I think, but it is so much
deeper than just finishing a master plan. YOU are the master plan. It pleases
him to work in you because he is a personal God. Just as I work so hard, shed
so many tears and spend so many hours in order to teach well and work with my
kids. And just as it brings an overwhelming sense of joy an unexplainable pleasure
to see growth in my kids such as Mesiaki, so it is with the LORD. God is so
amazingly good!
